Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis
November 12th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Guest Post from William (Dann) Alexander -Another man’s point of view

Dear Hearts:

When I hear a man wrote a book on childfreedom, I smile. Its happening more and more. In my opinion, it’s a welcomed addition to the many titles out there written by women, including my own book. Dann agreed to write the following for you. I haven’t had the chance to read his book and apologize to you and him. I will! My plate is very full right now.(  I’m smiling because of that fact. )

Here’s the guest post from Dann. I urge you to read, comment and share anything you feel was a welcomed or new thing you learned.



Childfreedom is a choice. It is a prescribed response to a series of questions we ask ourselves combined with observations of things going on around us.  The choice is made while we observe parents running the hectic schedule.  It could be something we have thought of as we watched families line up at the grocery checkouts as a cashier rings in purchases of diapers and formula. We often might get those reminders daily.

I knew from a very young age that I wanted to never have children.  Although it was at an early age when I made the decision, it was a pretty firm one to make at the time.  When I would hear anyone talking about not having children it was always from a female perspective.  It was actually empowering to hear some of the older crowd in my hometown talk about how they did not want to have children.  It helped me feel some validation in my direction.

Although I was very open about not wanting kids from a young age, having that empowerment from other sources was very inspirational and helpful.  It would stand to serve as a way to remind myself constantly how perfectly ok it was that I did not want to have children.  If there was any fear about talking about the choice, it did not stay with me for long.

The negative reaction to my childfree proclamations started as early as I started to champion the cause.  These are comments that we have all heard already.  “You’ll change your mind”, or “Who will look after you when you are older?” are my two favorite classics.  I like my mind just fine and have no real desire to change it.  As far as getting older, I want to look after myself.  I pay into a healthcare system that I hope will still be there for me if I were to experience some issues.  Besides, since when is the purpose of having children to breed personal care workers for yourself when you reach the stages of later life?

One thing that childfree men and women have in common is that they will get much of the same reactions when they reveal the choice to others.  Comments like the two examples I suggested above barely scratch the surface of reactions.  Some of the reactions people have gotten have been just downright offensive.  Maybe you have one reaction or comment in particular that stands out the most.  It can hurt.  When it does hurt, take comfort in knowing you made the right choice for you.

With more literature appearing on the subject of being childfree, more people can find inspiration and empowerment from multiple sources.  Bloggers are turning up with valuable words of wisdom about their own experiences as childfree persons.  The subject appeared recently in Time Magazine and no doubt will turn up in news outlets again in no time.

The choice of childfreedom is yours.  Childfree women (and men), know that you are not alone.  I understand, and celebrate the choice with you.

William (Dann) Alexander is a freelance writer and author, based in Nova Scotia, Canada.  His book “Planned UnParenthood Creating A Life Without Procreating”, is available through Lulu, Amazon and other online retail sites worldwide. Amazon US Lulu The Book Depository





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