Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis

Archive for the ‘Men and childfreedom’ Category

December 27th, 2015 by Marcia Davis

The Joys of a Childfree Group Cruise

Our first of what we hope to be annual childfree group cruises, was a huge success. Fourteen people met as strangers and left as extended family members
It took me an entire year to plan this, find the right cruise line, and get Laura Scott our awesome guest speaker.
The highlights of the cruise, as shared by the people attending, was first… the choice in using Norwegian Cruise Lines. Thanks to K&E International Travel and visiting the actual ship, “The Getaway”, it was a good choice. They embrace the freestyle cruising idea meaning, no first and second seatings for dining, no requirement of jackets or dressing every night and tons of choices on board. The food, service, cabins and entertainment were stellar. The shore excursions were fun. (So was staying on -board when everyone got off!)
The next best thing was simply meeting each other. There were two days at sea to meet as a group. Laura Scott, Author of “Two IS Enough: A Couples Guide to the Childfree Lifestyle” and “The Childfree Documentary”, was a fabulous supporter of teaching how to handle the naysayers who incorrectly label childfree people as selfish or immature. We laughed at some role playing and felt empathy for those who are shunned by family or friends.
I shared my “60 Minutes” taping from 1974 where, “pardon our perversion for airing this on Mother’s Day” was heard by Mike Wallace. Sadly, it was agreed that not much has changed! Laura shared a piece of her documentary.
When we met to say good by, we all agreed that a memory of a lifetime was created. For some, they will no longer fear saying they are childfree by choice. For others, they still must fear their truths as their professions may be in jeopardy.
I’m already planning another adventure for December of 2016. It will probably be on the newest NCL ship, The Escape. We already have the first speaker, Jesse Nochols who is a MAN! If remotely interested, place your name on the NOKIDCRUISE@ mailing list. It will be a first come, first served basis once I have the dates and cabins locked in. If you’re single, this cruise lines offers a single studio cabin! (Unheard of in other cruise lines.)

This site had been closed down due to a very bad hacking. It took months to get us back. We are back, proud and excited to reach your hearts.

Marcia Drut-Davis


November 12th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Guest Post from William (Dann) Alexander -Another man’s point of view

Dear Hearts:

When I hear a man wrote a book on childfreedom, I smile. Its happening more and more. In my opinion, it’s a welcomed addition to the many titles out there written by women, including my own book. Dann agreed to write the following for you. I haven’t had the chance to read his book and apologize to you and him. I will! My plate is very full right now.(  I’m smiling because of that fact. )

Here’s the guest post from Dann. I urge you to read, comment and share anything you feel was a welcomed or new thing you learned.



Childfreedom is a choice. It is a prescribed response to a series of questions we ask ourselves combined with observations of things going on around us.  The choice is made while we observe parents running the hectic schedule.  It could be something we have thought of as we watched families line up at the grocery checkouts as a cashier rings in purchases of diapers and formula. We often might get those reminders daily.

I knew from a very young age that I wanted to never have children.  Although it was at an early age when I made the decision, it was a pretty firm one to make at the time.  When I would hear anyone talking about not having children it was always from a female perspective.  It was actually empowering to hear some of the older crowd in my hometown talk about how they did not want to have children.  It helped me feel some validation in my direction.

Although I was very open about not wanting kids from a young age, having that empowerment from other sources was very inspirational and helpful.  It would stand to serve as a way to remind myself constantly how perfectly ok it was that I did not want to have children.  If there was any fear about talking about the choice, it did not stay with me for long.

The negative reaction to my childfree proclamations started as early as I started to champion the cause.  These are comments that we have all heard already.  “You’ll change your mind”, or “Who will look after you when you are older?” are my two favorite classics.  I like my mind just fine and have no real desire to change it.  As far as getting older, I want to look after myself.  I pay into a healthcare system that I hope will still be there for me if I were to experience some issues.  Besides, since when is the purpose of having children to breed personal care workers for yourself when you reach the stages of later life?

One thing that childfree men and women have in common is that they will get much of the same reactions when they reveal the choice to others.  Comments like the two examples I suggested above barely scratch the surface of reactions.  Some of the reactions people have gotten have been just downright offensive.  Maybe you have one reaction or comment in particular that stands out the most.  It can hurt.  When it does hurt, take comfort in knowing you made the right choice for you.

With more literature appearing on the subject of being childfree, more people can find inspiration and empowerment from multiple sources.  Bloggers are turning up with valuable words of wisdom about their own experiences as childfree persons.  The subject appeared recently in Time Magazine and no doubt will turn up in news outlets again in no time.

The choice of childfreedom is yours.  Childfree women (and men), know that you are not alone.  I understand, and celebrate the choice with you.

William (Dann) Alexander is a freelance writer and author, based in Nova Scotia, Canada.  His book “Planned UnParenthood Creating A Life Without Procreating”, is available through Lulu, Amazon and other online retail sites worldwide. Amazon US Lulu The Book Depository