Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis
January 13th, 2020 by Marcia Davis

A Shocking Loss

I called her my daughter/friend. She was going to carry on after me. She can’t. She tragically died in a horrific accident falling down her stairs in her home. Her liver shattered. She died in surgery as they tried to repair that liver. Her heart gave out. Blair Lerae Shields was only 38.

I met her at the NOTMOMSUMMIT in Cleveland Ohio in 2015. It was love at first hello! She took me aside to have me sign my memoir and said, “They say when you meet your hero, you’ll be upset! I’m not!”. We hugged and that was our first heart connection.

There were numerous back and forth phone calls, emails and texts after that. She meet me in New York City for brunch before attending the film festival where “To Kid or Not To Kid” was entered. During brunch, I looked at her and genuinely saw so much beauty; not only outwardly, but inside. She radiated joy, life and excitement. I said, “You know what? You’re really gorgeous!” She laughed and never told me she was a pageant queen in her youth. Winning got her to go to Oral Roberts University! (I found this out in her memorial service.)

She made magnets for all who attended a brunch in honor of the filmmaker, Maxine Trump. (No relation) Everyone at that brunch was super excited for what Maxine had filmed. The laughter and love was infectious. At one time, later, in a local bar, after the film was shown, we went outside to take a group photo. It was freezing cold! She went out without her coat. I yelled at her, “Go get your coat! It’s too cold!” She laughed with that Blair smile and said, “You’re an annoying mother-friend!” She kept the coat off.

Her beloved husband Travis took me aside and thanked me for caring about Blair. I told him it was easy. I loved her.

Blair started a very successful meetup in Texas for the childfree. Many events were hosted in their home. Her Facebook site: RESPECTFULLY CHILDFREE had thousands following her. She also had a huge following on Instagram. She taught me how to get on and maneuver around it. She had the patience of a saint with me being an older woman trying to learn all the social media I could to reach hearts.

When I received a Gofundme for a memorial fund sent to me by one of her friends, at first, I thought it was for one of her three adored dogs. My eyes got wider as I read and re-read. It was for Blair Lerae Shields. I simply sat down and cried.

Her sudden and tragic death is hard to wrap my brains around. How? Why? Even with answers, nothing brings her back. Except for one thing: anyone who knew her knows our grief is testimony to how much we loved her. The pain is awful. yet, would I not want the pain? That would have meant I never knew her.

It’s now the holiday season. It’s difficult to be happy with such a profound loss. Blair sent me an ornament for our little tree that says, “Silent Night. Childfree Night”. It sits in the middle of that tree and I chuckle. So, we go on. She would have wanted that for all her childfree followers and family.

I loved her, will miss her and am thankful I connected with her amazing heart.


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