Childfree Reflections

I often hear people telling me that today it’s not a big deal to choose a childfree lifestyle. I’ve heard it’s an accepted choice amongst most families once anyone states they don’t want children. Nobody gets pushed into feeling they’re making a bad choice they will regret later. Really?  I wonder if that’s true!

Yes. More people are opting to remain childfree than in my day back in the 70’s. However, things have dramatically chånged. Although women may delay childbearing, they now feel they can raise children alone. There’s no need for any man. Indeed, all they require is his sperm which they can get from a sperm donor bank. Single parenting is also glorified by movie stars such as Sandra Bullock who adopted a child from another race. (Do not misunderstand me. I’m happy any child gets placed into a loving, capable persons care!)

I don’t think anyone would lose their job as a teacher if they were interviewed on “60 Minutes” sharing they don’t choose to parent today…. as I suffered back in 1974. I certainly hope they wouldn’t!   However, pronatalism still exists. Every time I’ve gone to any bridal shower, that baby gift is always there whether or not they know if raising children has been accepted. Every time I’ve been to a wedding, questions start about family planning from excited friends and would-be grandparents.

What do you think? Today, is the childfree lifestyle accepted with the same respect, excitement and encouragement as having children? I would love hearing from you!

I’ve always wondered why people say, “We are pregnant”. It’s the woman who is pregnant, isn’t it? Even when it’s a lesbian couple, one has the fetus growing inside her, not the other. I’ve always snickered at the thought but let it go. If  any couple find that one of them is pregnant, the other also shares so much during that time: dealing with issues of weight gain, morning sickness, hemorrhoids, mood swings from hormonal changes, varicose veins and other common pregnancy experiences can be a daunting task for both people. But, this week, I got it! My husband was diagnosed with early staged prostate cancer. I now hear myself saying, “We have cancer”.  As in pregnancy, when one person faces any health challenges, the other is involved. Unlike pregnancy, people respond happily when they hear, “We are pregnant” but I find people looking at me as if I have three heads when I say, “We have cancer”. I wonder why?