Illegitimacy seems to be the new “normal” according to a recent NY Times article. According to this article, “the fastest growth in the last two decades has occurred among white women in their 20’s who have some college education but no four-year degree”.
This reflects a sad fact that even with the growing availability of choice in procreating, and birth control, it’s still the younger women who chooses mothering without even needing marriage. Are they blinded to what it really means to raise a child? Is the impact of single Hollywood icons having kids luring them to feel mothering is “in”? Is the lack of being able to get a good job with a good salary giving them the alternative to having a baby to give them something to do? How can they afford to raise a child?
The article continues,”The shift is affecting children’s lives. Researchers have consistently found that children born outside of marriage face elevated risks of falling into poverty, failing in school or suffering emotional and behavioral problems.”I’m not sure about that! In my opinion, marriage doesn’t make raising a child easier or insure success in school.
I may add that children having children can never be a good choice! The average 20 year old has a lot to learn about themselves before they even think about having a child.
“women in their 20’s” does not just mean 20 and 21 year olds. I’m 29 and just had my first child. My boyfriend and I are not married. And I understand fully what it means to have a child and to raise her and to do right by her. I wasn’t lured by Hollywood. I have an ok job and I make decent money to support her. I made a choice. And I don’t need a piece of paper signed by the government to prove myself. I don’t owe an explanation to the world for my decisions. Articles like that do nothing but make me angry.
What is “normal” anyway? And whatever it is, I’m sorry that we can’t all fit into that nice little slot for you. Isn’t this whole blog about how you decided to go against the norm? Then why is it that when someone else does something that you find “weird” or “different” do you have an entire blog post about how it’s wrong?
Julie, thanks for responding. I will go back and read that article. I never want to make anyone angry. That’s not a happy feeling.
The most important thing is to make choices that are right for each of us. I wish you well and hope you continue to enjoy being a parent. I am always in awe of people who do that well while enjoying that career.
I absolutely agree with you that a piece of paper is nothing. Love, commitment and making choices while knowing their consequences is important. Right?
It’s been a while since I saw the article you cited so give me a chance to re-read it?
That article was in response to a NY Times Article in March. I didn’t write it. And, I can see why it would upset you. You made a few good points. Being 29 may be different from 20. Yet, it is in the span of years that NY Times article sited.
I’m curious as to why you checked out this blog. You made a good choice for yourself. Right? You are a happy parent, right? I think that’s terrific! Why did you check out this blog? I will tell you to be careful of people trying to convince you to have a second or third child. It’s pronatalism. Continue to make choices that make you happy. Again, thanks for your comment.