Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis
August 28th, 2017 by Marcia Davis

“Childfree”? What’s in a NAME?

 

I fought many battles over the title of “childfree” by choice name.  After appearing on “60 Minutes” in 1974, I heard words like, “perverse” from the late Mike Wallace. It was my first lesson on the ignorance and ravages of pronatalism. After more TV interviews, newspaper articles and speaking engagements, I lost my job and faced death threats. Once, when speaking, I was escorted past picketing lines with signs reading, “Godless Bitch!” People I thought were friends backed off any heart connections. (The lesson is they were not true friends.)

It’s now 43 years later. I’m almost 75. I still face ravages against me from within the childfree movement. There’s a group who feel I’m a sham, disgrace and phony. Some even suggest my lifetime achievement award from the committee for International Childfree Day be taken back. Some accuse me of making money off the people I reach to support, educate and honor in their lifestyle choice. Selling my book, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman”, hosting nokid group cruises and being a keynote speaker at the up-coming NOTMOMSUMMIT in Ohio this October 2017, makes me look, in their eyes, as if I’m making a large income off the childfree by choice. I’m not! My rewards are in the letters I get, the outpouring of people all over this world and the inner peace in knowing lives are being changed, as they understand what “childfree” means. It also affects those faced with infertility. There’s a big difference with childfree vs childless.

The haters argument is I once tried my hand in being a stepmother. In their opinions, I can never say I’m childfree. They shriek that any stepparent can’t be considered ”childfree by choice”. I get it. They have the right to choose that definition. I, and many others, disagree. I attempted to be a friend to my husband’s two daughters. I never wanted to be their mother. They had one. In my first book, I tell the whole, sad but truthful story.

They took out of context when I wrote about the ephemeral moments I questioned my childfree choice. (Many have these on again, off again feelings. Many don’t.) However, they made it look as if I really wanted to have a child. By omitting the answers to when I questioned, I was perceived by those who never read the entire book as a joke.

I’ve led the right to choose the childfree lifestyle with passion, grace and dignity. I’ll continue to write, speak, blog and use my Facebook sites to reach the hearts against people whether stepparents, aunts, uncles, caregivers or volunteers to many children in need. I will defend those who can’t stand being with children. However, hurting them is unconscionable.

You who read this blog, buy my books, visit my Facebook sites, (www.facebook.com/confessionsofachildfreewoman.) come with me on nokid cruises, personally write to me and come to hear me speak are my oxygen. In my second, about to be “birthed” book, I talk at length about this challenge I’ve faced. To the ones hating me, I feel sadness. They truly don’t understand who I am, what I am and what I stand for. To my dying day, I will defend this awesome lifestyle even to those who revile me.

Comments

2 Responses to ““Childfree”? What’s in a NAME?”
  1. Denise Decker says

    Until I read this, I didn’t realize some people would not consider me childless by choice. I have married 2 men who had children, they were not mine. We attended family events and got along well, but that is nowhere near having children. I am a popular aunt, but chopse when I am involved in their lives. My choice. I choose childfree. Your life choices are your own. I hope to join one of your nokid cruises someday.

    • Marcia Davis says

      Denise, you just made my day! Of course stepparents can be childfree by choice! Instead of banding together and facing the wrath of too many, we are being divided by extremists. SOUND FAMILIAR?As for our gala cruise, I have a few cabins left for this next one December. I also just blocked cabins for next December, too.r to me at NOKIDCRUISE@gmail.com.
      Sending hugs!

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