Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis
July 22nd, 2016

It’s Another Childfree Group Cruise, 2017

The memories from our first gala cruise still linger. Now, we want to add more memories with another opportunity to be with like-minded people. You’ll never hear, “So? How many kids do you have?”
We leave on Dec 3, 2017 (That’s over a year and a half from now!) We cruise on the same ship: NCL’S Getaway down the Mexican Riviera coast stopping at Roatan Bay Islands, Harvest Caye, Belize, Costa Maya and Cozumel. You can purchase shore excursions to see the Mayan Ruins, take a thrilling ZIP line experience, swim, snorkel on a private island or kiss a dolphin.
Pricing starts at 489.00 pp for an Inside cabin. (You just read that right.) For more pricing on ocean view cabins and balconies and The Haven, a ship within a ship with a butler…go to NOKIDCRUISE@gmail.com. I’ll attach information. But hurry. These prices and first choice cabins will go back to NCL on 9/14/2016.
You’ll also get 4 specialty dining meals FREE and 75.00 per cabin on board credit.
Only 50.00 assures you a place. 125.00 pp gets your name on your chosen cabin. All money is refundable up to 120 days from sailing.
Singles can purchase a studio cabin and not have to pay double as all other cruise ships insist upon. They are going fast!
Hoping to give and get hugs on a trip to make a lifetime memory.
Hugs,
Marcia Drut-Davis

April 9th, 2016

Facing Another Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is approaching. I remember my mom. She was wonderful. However, it was a crapshoot. I won. Many don’t. Many are born to women lured into the myth of being a mother. From the time their first doll is placed, they’re filled with the game of being a mommy.
It’s not a game. It’s a choice too many take for granted without any clue of reality. There are no courses, exams or honest revelations about mothering. Because of pronatalism, which exalts the status of parenting in the media, arts, music and society, women dive in for that exalted title. Many never stop to question, “Am I parent material? Do I have enough money to raise a child? Do I know what the lifestyle really means? Would I be happier not raising children?”
If we’re honest, some should never be a mother.
I’m against Mother’s Day. I applaud those doing a good job in their profession as a parent. What? Mothering a profession? In my opinion, if it were thought of that way, there would be happier children and parents. Child abuse could be diminished. Sadly, the ones who say, ”I don’t want to be a mother” are often shunned, maligned or deemed to be immature, destined to change their minds. Or, worse yet, destined to regret their selfish choice. The ones who face infertility are seen as barren, doomed to face a life of incompleteness. We can never mention that many parents may have regrets too.
For me, I celebrate the freedom to carefully make life choices. If mothering equals nurturing, then I’ve done that. I’ve nurtured those I taught, my rescued dog, garden, husband and best of all, myself. Selfish? No. Smart. I happily, without any regrets at 73, chose the childfree lifestyle.

December 27th, 2015

The Joys of a Childfree Group Cruise

Our first of what we hope to be annual childfree group cruises, was a huge success. Fourteen people met as strangers and left as extended family members
It took me an entire year to plan this, find the right cruise line, and get Laura Scott our awesome guest speaker.
The highlights of the cruise, as shared by the people attending, was first… the choice in using Norwegian Cruise Lines. Thanks to K&E International Travel and visiting the actual ship, “The Getaway”, it was a good choice. They embrace the freestyle cruising idea meaning, no first and second seatings for dining, no requirement of jackets or dressing every night and tons of choices on board. The food, service, cabins and entertainment were stellar. The shore excursions were fun. (So was staying on -board when everyone got off!)
The next best thing was simply meeting each other. There were two days at sea to meet as a group. Laura Scott, Author of “Two IS Enough: A Couples Guide to the Childfree Lifestyle” and “The Childfree Documentary”, was a fabulous supporter of teaching how to handle the naysayers who incorrectly label childfree people as selfish or immature. We laughed at some role playing and felt empathy for those who are shunned by family or friends.
I shared my “60 Minutes” taping from 1974 where, “pardon our perversion for airing this on Mother’s Day” was heard by Mike Wallace. Sadly, it was agreed that not much has changed! Laura shared a piece of her documentary.
When we met to say good by, we all agreed that a memory of a lifetime was created. For some, they will no longer fear saying they are childfree by choice. For others, they still must fear their truths as their professions may be in jeopardy.
I’m already planning another adventure for December of 2016. It will probably be on the newest NCL ship, The Escape. We already have the first speaker, Jesse Nochols who is a MAN! If remotely interested, place your name on the NOKIDCRUISE@ gmail.com mailing list. It will be a first come, first served basis once I have the dates and cabins locked in. If you’re single, this cruise lines offers a single studio cabin! (Unheard of in other cruise lines.)

This site had been closed down due to a very bad hacking. It took months to get us back. We are back, proud and excited to reach your hearts.

Marcia Drut-Davis

 

July 14th, 2015

WE BIRTHED A CHILDFREE GROUP CRUISE!

It’s official. I’m super excited to announce we have a HAPPY2BCHILDFREE group cruise on a luxurious Norwegian Cruise-line. this December 2015.

Picture this: a deliciously fun experience with like-minded people who’ll never ask, “Why don’t you have kids?” Add to this, the authors: Laura Carroll, “The Baby Matrix”, Laura Scott, “Two Is Enough” and me, Marcia Drut-Davis, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman”. We’ll have a few private meetings on board when we’re out at sea.  Panel discussions, airing of my infamous “60 Minutes” experience, viewing of  “The Childfree Project” by Laura Scott and talking with our authors will be inspiring and illuminating. Evenings will be in their awesome theater, voted the best of cruising, or dancing, or gambling or enjoying new friendships. The other times, in port, we’ll have a private land excursion company assuring us a childfree group! (No cattle call from the liner with kids!)

Info can be had by emailing me at: nokidcruise@gmail.com.  I’ll send you a lot to read from that gmail address. You’ll have questions.  If I can’t answer them, our travel agency K&E will be a great help with Margie, who is a cruise “maven”.  There are additional taxes and fees but very small. Land excursions are extra. NCL will offer a FREE drink package,  FREE specialty dining every night, 75.00 land excursion credit per port or FREE wifi packages. (You just read that right.) (wink)

Additionally, single people may be able to get a studio inside cabin just for yourself with no added costs as most other cruise-lines charge! They’ll be the first to go.

So……..come with us. Don’t wait too long as cabins are going fast. I’ll send you a link to tour the ship, virtually. Let’s make memories to last a lifetime. Having fought cancer and won, I’ve learned the importance of being with like-minded friends and relishing the joy of fun experiences. I have hugs waiting!

Love you all,

Jim and Marcia

SEE YOU ON BOARD!

 

Marcia Drut-Davis

January 30th, 2015

I’m “Birthing” a CHILDFREE GROUP CRUISE!

You just read that right. All through last year, fighting cancer, I kept thinking when I won the battle of this awful disease, I wanted to meet the many childfree-by-choice people who have shown their love, support and gratitude. This is the opportunity I dreamed about. I’m working with a wonderful travel agency , K&E International, who got us a deal you can’t refuse!

The cruise leaves December 6-13, out of Miami, Florida to The Caribbean. It stops for a full day in a privately owned NCL island, the Cayman Islands, Jamaica and Cozumel.

Imagine being with like minded people who’ll never ask you, “How many kids to you have?” Or when you answer, will never say, “Why? or, “How selfish!”

The speaker we’re having on board is stellar in the land of the childfree: LAURA SCOTT, the author of, “Two Is Enough” will be with us!

What fun we’ll have not to mention the cruise line itself! It’s the luxurious NCL GETAWAY. It’s only one year old! You won’t believe it’s beauty and what it offers on board. The on-land excursions are guaranteed to be childfree as we have our own land agency for that! All stops on the itinerary offer a full day of fun unlike many cruise ships who only dock for a few hours!

If you’re interested …HURRY! Email me at:nokidcruise@gmail.com. Say you heard about this from my blog! I’ll attach all the exciting info.  We only have a certain amount of of saved cabins at the price offered. We have more inquiries than cabins! All the cabins around me and Jim are already booked. ( Steve Harvey hawked this ship on a recent TV show with on-board videos!)

Much love to all. Hope to see you on-board and helping to make a memory we’ll long remember.

Marcia Drut-Davis

 

December 13th, 2014

Childfree By Choice Among Gays/Lesbians.

Recently, it came to my attention  how much pressure gay and lesbian people feel to have children. And why not? When the ideal picture of a family is having the addition of at least one child, they’re under the same cultural

incentives/myths to go forth and multiply.

Since biologically they can’t, they’re often  made to feel  they should search out a surrogate, or explore in-vitro, sperm donors and adoption. They’re not to be thought of as a couple without them!

If they’re “out” and in a committed relationship, it get’s worse. Apparently that perfect ideal of happiness is to have a child at all costs! Even after the wedding, in the states where it’s acceptable, there are the not- so -subtle

hints of adding a baby to fulfill their lives. Without that child, the couple is lacking something

In the past, we were influenced by many TV shows extolling the joys of having children. Ah yes! “The Brady Bunch” were so happy together as a blended family of eight children with a nanny. All worries or challenges were

accomplished within a half hour time frame. Very realistic! It was applauded by the many advertisers and people turning in to see the show. After viewing, it left them with  more pronatal yearnings to have more kids!

Now, we have “Modern Family” where a gay couple adopts a daughter who gives them such feelings of joy and accomplishment even though she can be a pain in the ass.

On my facebook blog, I recently corresponded with a gay man who shared how much he appreciated my memoir, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman” (Amazon.com) My facebook site: facebook.com/childfreereflections

is another support network he enjoys. Being constantly inundated by friends and family trying to get him to think about having children gets old.

I’m so proud and delighted to have a place in his heart. He’s wished a beautiful, fulfilling and healthy life. I hope he continues to make his own choices with as much pride and dignity as any parent.

 

 

 

 

 

October 14th, 2014

ANNOUNCEMENT

I’ve been away from this blog fighting cancer. I’m back… having won the fight!

Soon, you’ll be reading interviews about people following me from my facebook site: http://facbook.com/chidfreereflections.

The first will be one of our men. It will be a fascinating share of being childfree….. from his perspective.

HUGS,

Marcia

August 20th, 2014

A FASCINATING READ, IN MY OPINION!

http://aeon.co/magazine/nature-and-cosmos/pregnancy-is-a-battleground-between-mother-father-and-baby/

My facebook book site was temporarily closed down today not allowing me to post or comment. I feel Facebook slapped my hands saying the above article, “doesn’t follow the Facebook Community Standards”.

In my opinion, it was closed because of some ignorant person who perceived that article as a slap to the Madonna myth.

Read the article for yourself. See why, more than ever, pronatalism is alive and well and must be brought to the attention of others.

May 7th, 2014

Mother’s Day In America 2014

Mother’s Day In America

By Marcia Drut-Davis

Before I share some heartfelt emotions, I want to honor those mothers, grandmothers and aunts who devote their lives to their children, grandchildren nieces or nephews. There are many deserving of adoration. How lucky for those children!

Sadly, in my opinion, the Mother’s Day celebration in America is another example of the dangers of pronatalism. It exalts the status of being a mother to something short of being a saint. Just the mere mention of the revered word “mother’ makes many swoon with love and joy. It discounts the many hearts hurting from abuse or indifference. It forgets those children who suffer from their mothers who were never parent material in the first place. It encourages more to get that title to become a part of societal or religious expectations so they can get the same attention.

We forget the damage to those facing infertility. They seem to view themselves as “less than” or barren. Look up the word “childless” in any thesaurus and see the negative words associated to infertile. Never are infertile people told about the sheer joy and freedom to live a childfree (not “less”) lifestyle. Never are they told how much they can give to themselves and humanity having more time to “mother” in other ways. It seems the only way is though a baby or child. Really?

How many women mother through their work? How many mother through being a passionate supporter of a green environment? How many mother as devoted  neighbors to children whose moms may be forced to come home late? How many mother as concerned citizens volunteering in government, animal humane societies, Big Sisters or Guardian Ad Litem?

Until we, the childfree by choice, are given as much attention, adoration and accolades on International Non-Parents Day (which is August 1st) there is no equality and no understanding of how wonderful, loving and nurturing we can be without having or raising children.

 

Marcia Drut-Davis is author of, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman” on Amazon.com.

 

November 29th, 2013

Adoration For Recognising the Childfree Choice Never Gets Old!

Jim and I went to The Miami Book Fair last week-end. It was the first time I showed, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman” to hoards of people walking past our booth. I learned a lot. I experienced many visceral reactions.

I learned and will never forget, there are too many people still under the misconception that not wanting to have children is a sign of a genetic mutation. I’ll never forget the young women who stood there, wide eyed and then hugged me after we spoke. Then there was a young couple, walking hand in hand who purchased the book, smiled and said they really needed to read and discuss it. Whatever there choice is, I wish them well. Sadly, I’ll never forget the woman who stood there and cried saying she wished she knew there was any choice before she had her son. It was too late for her now but remains in-printed in me as testimony why my memoir is important in a pronatal world.

The experience of that day inspired me to keep on keeping on. Seeing the growing number of “likes” on my facebook page, (facebook.com/ChildfreeReflections), getting more and more followers on Twitter and reading the glowing reviews on Amazon, adoring the book (except for one angry soul) is like devouring a hot fudge sundae and enjoying every minute, without guilt!

I also learned from now on I will only go to book clubs, specially selected events, or speaking engagements from all the wonderful support organizations for the childfree. When you are in a venue of over 200,000 people, many of whom are over 60, have already had kids or really interested in books of celebrities, it’s not worth going. However in saying that, those who bought the book were all worth the effort.

Are you interested in having me speak at any event?

Hugs,

Marcia