Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis
March 22nd, 2013 by Marcia Davis

My Memoir Is Soon Available

Three years after I started my journey, my memoir, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman” is about to be available as an Ebook. It took me three long years but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel in trying to get a book published.

This memoir shares how I made the difficult choice not to parent and how that choice affected the rest of my life. As a pioneer in the childfree movement I share the shocking betrayal I felt being interviewed on “60 Minutes” . (The results of that TV interview may shock you too.) I delve into the years I spent as a childfree woman  even sharing those times it may have made me sad. The time of menopause suggested another experience I never would have thought would affect me. Being a stepmother gave me insight into how difficult parenting truly is. Finally, I answer the burning question I’m repeatedly asked  of whether or not, as a 70 year old woman, I have any regrets.

Stay tuned. It’s about to be easy to get my memoir.I look forward to how it helps you.

 

Comments

4 Responses to “My Memoir Is Soon Available”
  1. I just finished reading your book and know that you ARE a pioneer and hero for discussing the choice to be childfree with the public. I am a 54 year old woman and have been married to my husband for 32 years. I never contemplated having children; I have always known it was not the right choice for me. I was brought up in a dysfunctional family; a belligerant drunk for a father and an enabling mother. Neither of my parents had the necessary skills to raise children. They were able to provide food, shelter, and clothing which is about it. My husband is from a dysfunctional family, too. His father was a reclusive alcoholic and would leave the family to go on drinking binges. His mother was mentally ill and eventually his parents divorced. Our childhoods were very chaotic. I have experienced all the society pressures about my choice to be childfree and felt quite alone in our pronatalist society. However, I am a firm believer that parenting needs to have standards. Many parents are unfit and society will not discuss that issue. I remember a few years ago my mom was at a senior center and during a class the instructor asked all the participants, “If I asked your children to name something that you did that impacted them negatively what would they say?” My mother was very agitated with the question and answered “We taught our children that what happens in this house, stays in this house. So they would have nothing to say.” Is that mind boggling or what! It would be a great pleasure to be able to shine a light on the fact that so many parents are unfit and cause livelong problems not only for their children but for society, too. Thank you so much for all you’ve done.

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    • marciadavis says

      Pattie, did I reply to you? Just checking to be sure I have.

    • I read the Mommyfriend article and didn’t find it tougne in cheek, but rude. I know unsolicited advice can be annoying, but tht comes from everyone not just the childfree. And you might be surprised just how many CF are tuned into parenting related places! As someone mentioned over there many of us are teachers and nannies and have some experience or at least an outside perspective. I know it can be tempting to offer it and to judge, but the condescension that you wouldn’t know the specialness of my child until -you- have given birth’ mitigates our choices. I have been learning about the kids in my people’s lives to understand them better, and all i ask is for the same consideration of my lifestyle. Life without kids can be just as hard, some of us are caring for sick parents, spouses or kids or have our own problems too. And it can be tough when the parents get preference for the holidays off, or special days to attend plays. I ask for the same consideration as a CF because I have family too (mothers, fathers, bros, and sis) and my pet gets sick occassionally. And someone has to not have kids to help balance the village. We are all people with our own choices. There are child places, please respect that there are adult places. And there are places for all ages and I am happy to see your kids there but please don’t expect me to be happy when they invade my space. I understand they are learning, but that is also why they are accompanied by adults. I liked this article. The author didn’t just blame the cf. And as a cf I can really empathize the pain of being rejected by a society for not following it’s strict standards. Parents get judged for not being perfect as we get judged for not having kids. We all have a beef with it, and we can change that together. And that thought brings me hope. (Sorry about the length, maybe I should’ve just blogged a reply somehow!)

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