It’s been a long and difficult birth. After four years of labor, experiencing the frustrations of writing, rejection and revisions, my creative “baby” is now available. The EBook is available on www.amazon.com. (You can read sample chapters by clicking on the book to the left on this page.) Within days of this post, the printed version will also be available. I’m in awe of this accomplishment and how many people share this joy. I’m also shocked at how many people I thought would be supportive, are not. It doesn’t matter. From reading the reviews, hearing the reactions and knowing this book can touch the lives of others, I feel proud.
Yesterday, I saw my first royalty check. After doing a happy dance around my office with my husband Jim and Pippa (our rescued Chihuahua) another thought entered my consciousness. People accused me, in the past, of not being able to “live on” because of not procreating. As more and more readers experience my words, I’m doing that! Touching the future by supporting personal choices society still may label as “selfish”, makes me smile. How many other childless-by-choice (or childfree) people give back to others or this planet through a myriad of loving, caring ways? How many others suffer unnecessarily because they’re labeled as “barren”?
I pledge to you, my readers and cyber-space family, my commitment to answer any and all questions. No question is “stupid”. If I can’t answer that question, I’ll find another who can. I realize there are many other books out there and encourage you to read as many as you can. What I offer is a mature, experienced lifetime of living in childfreedom. I’m not trying to push it in your face. I will never say having kids is awful if that’s your choice. I will say to be careful. Pronatalism is dangerous and can make you feel you’re crazy for not wanting to raise a child. I urge you to read, “The Baby Matrix” by Laura Carroll (amazon.com) to learn more about pronatalism. Having or not having children is, in my opinion the most important choice you’ll ever make. Children deserve careful consideration, don’t they? You deserve to be be true to your own wants and wishes in this life.
I look forward to hearing from you on this blog, meeting you at speaking engagements or maybe skyping. Thank you for being there for me and acknowledging this topic is still important when more choices are available… but the myths and pressures live on.
Hi Marcia,
I have just finished reading your memoir and must tell you how much I loved it. I found it to be very well-written, and is in a style that gives the book a feeling that you are speaking personally to the reader.
I really appreciate your honesty and openness about living with the choice to remain childfree. It is still a difficult choice to live with for women today, as it is still largely unaccepted by wider society, and I truly believe that you have indeed been one of the ‘pioneers’ for other women in the same situation. I’m grateful for women like you who have had the courage to speak out about parenthood as a choice, you have definitely helped to create more acceptance for the childfree, and as hard as it still is to live with this choice today, I’m sure it was even more difficult for women of your generation.
As a 28 year old married woman who has made the decision not to have children, it is very important to me to hear about others who have chosen this life and have no regrets.
The possibility of being alone as I age is a very real fear for me, as is the risk of regretting my choice. It is very heartening and encouraging to come across other childfree women who are a little further down the road than me and are still happy with their lives.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with the world!
PS. I was pleasantly surprised to read at the end of your book that you and your husband have a chihuahua – my husband and I are also lucky enough to be owned by one of these wonderful little dogs, and his life (and our cat’s) is more than enough responsibility for us!
Kat, you have no idea what the words you shared mean to me. Taking time to tell your story and thank me is why I wrote this book. We, the childfree-by-choice, should be as proud of our choices as any parent. I urge you to live your life with joy and commitment to making it as good as you can. Reach out to the many children who are waiting for mentors or big sisters. (Some of them have been born into families where parenting was never considered a career!) Do this only if you enjoy kids! Or, help another organization you love. Be friends with many different people and ages. Plan for your future carefully regarding money. Let me know, from time to time, how I can help. Which chapter did you like the most and why did it help you? Don’t forget to share your reactions with others on social media.If you leave a review on Amazon.com, it will help more to read and gain the way you have.
Marcia