MEET CHILDFREE – BY – CHOICE VICTOR!
Interviewed by Marcia Drut-Davis
Author, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman”
From time to time, I’ll be happy to interview people from our childfree facebook and blog family.
The interview is about one man and does not reflect all childfree men or my own beliefs.
And, we who know about being condemned for our personal choices and or lifestyle, know it’s important for Victor to feel free to express himself.
Here’s our first:
Meet Victor “Greywolf”. He’s outspoken, brutally honest and offers insightful reactions to being childfree-by-choice. Fasten your seatbelts!
Marcia: You’re a single CF man. When did you know you never wanted to be a father?
It was something ALWAYS there. However it started to be prevalent in 2010 when I was about 36. I was finishing a recording certificate at a local community college. I realized my art was stagnant.
Financially I wasn’t really getting anywhere. I knew having kids would financially burden me, not to mention the fact that I’ve never really gotten along with kids. Kids just turned me off.
I hated witnessing temper tantrums. I detested teen vandals running around. (I’ve had too many bad experiences with kids vandalizings!)
Also with shows such as: Surviving Evil, Obsession Dark Desire and Who The Bleep Did I Marry, I felt disgusted with the whole notion of it. It was something I just couldn’t stand to have in my life.
I know a lot of people say, “Kids are a great thing”. For me, it’s more of a hassle and not worth the trouble.
Marcia: How old are you now?
Victor:
I’m 40.
Marcia: Is it easy or difficult to find a life partner or is that not one of your goals?
Victor:
I would say or categorize it as kind of a mixture of the two. I mean, I’ve met SOME women who were willing to be my partner, but later found it was either a joke, or they were saying what they thought I wanted to hear.
I’m also told I’m vocally shocking and abrasive in other things. Go figure. But I won’t give up.
There must be a woman who likes the honesty and finds it a relief that I won’t refrain from sharing raw feelings, right?
Marcia:
I enjoy seeing you reply on many posts from this childfree site. I admit, sometimes your use of language is shocking.
And that’s you. What do you enjoy about this CF site? Do you think we need support for the childfree? Why?
Victor:
Well, it’s nice to see people not giving a damn about those little burdens. I enjoy seeing posts about fast food places with commercials women claim are ‘too sexual’ and ‘thinking of the children’.
For me, it’s a great source of comedic material, since I feel the mothers shouting the loudest aren’t getting any, due to their lousy performances in bed or too much time with their kids. (LOL)
It’s also nice to see people talking about something OTHER than kids. We need all the support we can get. Why? Why not? Kids aren’t the future, kids are the reason we need birth control.
Maybe if we stop reproducing enough, then we can rebuild the earth and improve everything. Instead of depending on kids, we should stop trying to wait for them, and improve things ourselves right now.
Marcia:
Many times, you seem angry. Can you share why or is it too personal?
Victor:
I feel I shouldn’t be stigmatized to share my anger, especially with all the problems out there, and things that are happening as a result of out of control reproducing.
If only we could make people who are promoting breeding shut their traps about reproducing such as: politicians, religious leaders, traditionalists.
Most of those “heart warming” stories about children are often based on fantasia, not reality, especially since a lot of people do believe that sitcoms show the ideal life.
As quoted from the movie, “The Cable Guy” “reality isn’t, “Father Knows Best” anymore.” I don’t believe it ever was.
And the beat goes on in “Married with Children”, “Parenthood” and “Malcolm In The Middle”. (Don’t watch them. Just know of them.)
Although they deal with a lot of real life situations it’s always with the children being worth it in the end.
Marcia:
What qualities are you looking for in a life-partner other than being childfree-by- choice?
Victor:
I would like a woman who isn’t jealous or possessive. Someone who is like a combination of Jenna Jameson, or Marilyn Chambers, along with someone who I can relate to, who is also into the same things I enjoy.
I want a woman who has her own money and is her own person. She should have her own interests too so we can enjoy alone time. It’s hard to find those women, since most women are conventional.
That’s why it’s so hard to find a life partner! I would also like a woman who lets a man be, and does her thing. She has to be open about herself, not mysterious.
Also, she has to be someone who isn’t afraid to let me be who I am, and not be angry if I like certain things she doesn’t. I guess if she was a bit of an exhibitionist, that wouldn’t hurt either, or into the swinger’s lifestyle.
(I found out the hard way, monogamous relationships at times lead to jealousy.) I know! I know! It’s almost impossible to find a woman with these attributes.
My ideal woman will be an inspiration to me, not a reason to run away from her. She doesn’t have to be in playboy, or penthouse, or hustler, but would do it in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose.
I don’t want a bully either who will get mad over every little thing, but someone who won’t be afraid of life. It wouldn’t hurt if she was older, or had menopause.
I’m also an atheist. Religious women wouldn’t do well with me or me with them. Finally, drum roll, she must embrace childfreedom forever.
Marcia:
Can you tell us a bit about what you’re doing now?
Victor:
I’m a general artist who’s a filmmaker. You can look up the Nevada Film Festival 2009-2011. Check out: Las Vegas, 2012 gold and silver Ace Awards, and the RXSm cyber jurors.
I’m a comic book artist. I have my own anti-hero series. I’m writing and drawing a female character in a spin off of my anti hero series.
I’m also a former open mike night comic with 2 (count them 2) albums on CD baby, and a martial artist.
I just completed a straight to video “talking head” (film festival term, where a person is performing a monologue throughout or partially through the movie).
I’m working on my next issue of my comic book. I also narrated an unpublished children’s book, and was a producer and extra for a while.
Currently, I’m working on trying to make another type of film, as well as a third spoken CD. I write and draw cards for a non-profit place.
I just got a guitar and am learning to play. I may make a music CD. I’m planning to learn some more martial arts soon. Soon, I hope to do a day in the life of Victor movie!
Marcia:
Do you have a best friend? Who is she/he?
Victor:
Do I have a best friend? Just my dogs.
I want to thank Victor for this candid, at times raw, bold and honest sharing of his childfree life. He’s given permission to include his address if anyone wants to contact him:
P.O. Box 2172, Palatine, IL 60078-2172.
I look forward to learning more about others in our facebook.com/childfreereflections community. If you’re interested in sharing, let me know!
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