Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

July 21st, 2017 by Marcia Davis

Childfree Musings

Many of you know about me from my first book, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman: A Life Spent Swimming against The Mainstream”, Amazon.

It was an adventure into raw realities involved in purging or venting my personal story. Some days (or nights) I would sit at my computer, stare at the keyboard and feel there wasn’t one word I

could share.

Other times, my words exploded like a cannon. I felt good. I felt proud until my editor, Justine, from writebynight.net said the 6 letter word I dreaded,”REVISE!”

It took almost three years of writing to have the final accomplishment in my hands and hopefully, yours.

Looking back, it was worth every agony and every rejection I met to receive the outpouring of love and support for my memoir.

I know that feeling because reading the first book about the childfree lifestyle I got, “The Baby Trap”, by Ellen Peck, set me free to be proud of being a non-parent.

(Later, non-parent was changed to “childfree”.)

When my editor suggested it may be time to update my memoir, I agreed. However, it wasn’t long before we knew I was gestating another book.

The birth of book 2 is now eminent. Without a doubt, I’m humbled and honored to feel it will help more of my childfree family.

Today, I finished a chapter that had me crying.

It wasn’t  because I heard the word, “REVISE” from Justine. It was because she said, “Marcia, this is the best writing I’ve seen from you”.

The interesting fact about the chapter is… it’s about you! You are the brave people who stepped up to share your innermost feelings with me. You are the ones who took a chance, even from

countries where you may face the wrath of others. You are the ones who inspired me to see how much we still need to make this a viable respected lifestyle allover the world!

I’m still breathless with feeling humbled and excited in writing this book and seeing the end in sight. I can’t wait to let you know it’s birthed.

The one thing I want you to know, is how much we need to keep on keeping on to feel pride in our awesome lifestyle choice. I would urge you to find something your heart can connect to knowing

you’re affecting the lives of others for the better. And, if it’s simply our own life, that’s also wonderful.

 

 

January 3rd, 2017 by Marcia Davis

Our NOKID GROUP CRUISE. WHY?

Why a Group Cruise?
Here are some of the reasons:
Reduced Fares and a Tremendous Value
Cruises are virtually all-inclusive vacations. One price includes all accommodations, meals, many activities on board the ship, and entertainment. By traveling as a group, we’ll qualify for special group discounts and rates.
Hassle-Free Vacation
With a Group Cruise, you unpack once and let the ship’s crew do the rest.
Multi-Interest Floating Resorts
Our cruise ship offer something for everyone regardless of their interests or personality. There’s plenty to keep every member of the group entertained.
Accommodations for Any Budget
We still have a number of different types of staterooms for any budget including: inside cabins, suites, balcony staterooms, and ocean view staterooms.

We also have “The Haven” with a private butler, restaurant, spa privileges and awesome additional amenities!
Group Dining
There’s maximum flexibility available for group dining on our cruise ship. Our group can elect to dine together or choose independent dining options.
Award Winning Entertainment
Our cruise ship offers first-rate award winning Broadway and Las Vegas-style musical revues; comedians; magic shows; piano bars; high energy discos; and live music to keep us entertained from sun down to sun up. The casino is also fun. You can use your on board credit there!
Fun & Getting to Know Each Other
A Group Cruise gives us a chance to share a common experience, which is choosing the childfree lifestyle and never hearing, “So? How many kids do you have? Our group activities like our private dinners first and last nights at sea, late night fun, and festivities will help us get to know one another.
High Satisfaction Vacations
Cruises have the highest guest satisfaction rating in the entire travel industry. Cruise Line studies show that groups that travel together on a cruise will return again as a group within two years of their first trip. We’ll be doing this on our Get-A-Way NCL cruise along the Mexican Coast, December 3-10th, 2017! Our special group pricing and amenities ends soon. Will you be with us?

Info: nokidcruise@gmail.com.

I’LL BE HOSTING AND SPEAKING!
Love you all,
Marcia Drut-Davis

December 5th, 2016 by Marcia Davis

Holiday Thoughts

It’s that time of the year again. I recently saw a post from a childfree couple who “lost it” for this holiday season. The questioned whether or not having children or grandkids had any influence.
I sighed. Then, thought how their choice of the words “lost it” could easily change with the words, “got it back”.
Holiday excitement can be very taxing on childfree couples if at every party they’re asked when they will settle down,  or if they feel lonely not having kids during the holidays. It’s simply pronatalistic myths.
Many people share with me the delight they have in decorating their homes. Indeed, many are single. Some have animals. Others have a life-partner. They love decorating, hosting parties, going to parties and feeling the delicious freedom not having kids gives to us.
You see? It’s the choices we make in our thoughts creating the feelings we have. Instead of having “lost it” for the holidays and wondering if having had kids would make it different, I suggest having gratitude for what you CAN do without having those kids or grandkids. Here’s a list:
1. Decorate and dance to your favorite music naked! Nobody will fault you. (Close the blinds or shades!)
2. Invite friends to your home! Maybe those neighbors who have kids who AREN’T visiting them?
3. Plan a trip! Go! Enjoy! (Come with us on a nokid group cruise next year!)
4. Go out for a lovely dinner and sleep late the next AM because you can. Parents can’t!
5. Volunteer at a local shelter or soup kitchen.
6. See if there’s a need at BOYS and GIRLS Clubs! Many come from homes where they can’t afford any decorations.
7. Watch those sappy holiday movies while munching on your favorite goodies, chocolate or sipping your favorite wine or drinks.
8. Go to the local mall. They usually have a tree with needy people asking for gifts on them for their kids.(Aren’t you happy you’re not them?)
9. Visit a children’s wing at any hospital and ask how you can help. (Aren’t you glad you’re not there for your own kids or grandkids?)
10. Have gratitude for your own delights, the people who give you joy and the fun of this season. CELEBRATE! DECORATE!

Happy holidays to all!

April 9th, 2016 by Marcia Davis

Facing Another Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is approaching. I remember my mom. She was wonderful. However, it was a crapshoot. I won. Many don’t. Many are born to women lured into the myth of being a mother. From the time their first doll is placed, they’re filled with the game of being a mommy.
It’s not a game. It’s a choice too many take for granted without any clue of reality. There are no courses, exams or honest revelations about mothering. Because of pronatalism, which exalts the status of parenting in the media, arts, music and society, women dive in for that exalted title. Many never stop to question, “Am I parent material? Do I have enough money to raise a child? Do I know what the lifestyle really means? Would I be happier not raising children?”
If we’re honest, some should never be a mother.
I’m against Mother’s Day. I applaud those doing a good job in their profession as a parent. What? Mothering a profession? In my opinion, if it were thought of that way, there would be happier children and parents. Child abuse could be diminished. Sadly, the ones who say, ”I don’t want to be a mother” are often shunned, maligned or deemed to be immature, destined to change their minds. Or, worse yet, destined to regret their selfish choice. The ones who face infertility are seen as barren, doomed to face a life of incompleteness. We can never mention that many parents may have regrets too.
For me, I celebrate the freedom to carefully make life choices. If mothering equals nurturing, then I’ve done that. I’ve nurtured those I taught, my rescued dog, garden, husband and best of all, myself. Selfish? No. Smart. I happily, without any regrets at 73, chose the childfree lifestyle.

January 16th, 2016 by Marcia Davis

2nd Annual Childfree Group Cruise!

Coming back after our first successful childfree group cruise, there was only one thing on my mind; I had to arrange this again.

The experiences we enjoyed will last a lifetime. The sharing in our private meetings touched our hearts. Laura Scott, author of, “Two IS Enough” was perfection as she helped many to see the beauty in the childfree lifestyle. We laughed, cried and enjoyed the splendor of a first class ship with all the amenities. I shared the infamous “60 Minutes” tape that caused me to lose my job.

The food was delicious. The service amazing, The itinerary was fun and varied. We’ll remember the warm, crystal blue waters of The Bahamas and Caribbean. JIm and I will remember kissing a dolphin in The Cayman Islands. Our cabins were spacious and comfortable.

It’s my pleasure to announce our second  annual cruise is now open for reservations.

We’ll have many more opportunities to meet with like minded people, hear awesome guest speakers and enjoy the itinerary to: The Virgin Island, Tortola and Nassau.

This time, it’s on Norwegian’s newest ship, The Escape.We leave December 10-17th from Miami, Florida, USA.

Here’s a link to their recent ad with Pitbull singing.(He’s the new spokesperson for The Escape!)

Catch the joy! Come with us next December.

Stay on  the video for the detailed tour of the ship and cabins.

Then, send me your name and email to NOKIDCRUISE@gmail.com for more info and pricing.

But hurry! Reservations are going fast.

See you on board for real hugs!

Marcia Drut-Davis

 

December 27th, 2015 by Marcia Davis

The Joys of a Childfree Group Cruise

Our first of what we hope to be annual childfree group cruises, was a huge success. Fourteen people met as strangers and left as extended family members
It took me an entire year to plan this, find the right cruise line, and get Laura Scott our awesome guest speaker.
The highlights of the cruise, as shared by the people attending, was first… the choice in using Norwegian Cruise Lines. Thanks to K&E International Travel and visiting the actual ship, “The Getaway”, it was a good choice. They embrace the freestyle cruising idea meaning, no first and second seatings for dining, no requirement of jackets or dressing every night and tons of choices on board. The food, service, cabins and entertainment were stellar. The shore excursions were fun. (So was staying on -board when everyone got off!)
The next best thing was simply meeting each other. There were two days at sea to meet as a group. Laura Scott, Author of “Two IS Enough: A Couples Guide to the Childfree Lifestyle” and “The Childfree Documentary”, was a fabulous supporter of teaching how to handle the naysayers who incorrectly label childfree people as selfish or immature. We laughed at some role playing and felt empathy for those who are shunned by family or friends.
I shared my “60 Minutes” taping from 1974 where, “pardon our perversion for airing this on Mother’s Day” was heard by Mike Wallace. Sadly, it was agreed that not much has changed! Laura shared a piece of her documentary.
When we met to say good by, we all agreed that a memory of a lifetime was created. For some, they will no longer fear saying they are childfree by choice. For others, they still must fear their truths as their professions may be in jeopardy.
I’m already planning another adventure for December of 2016. It will probably be on the newest NCL ship, The Escape. We already have the first speaker, Jesse Nochols who is a MAN! If remotely interested, place your name on the NOKIDCRUISE@ gmail.com mailing list. It will be a first come, first served basis once I have the dates and cabins locked in. If you’re single, this cruise lines offers a single studio cabin! (Unheard of in other cruise lines.)

This site had been closed down due to a very bad hacking. It took months to get us back. We are back, proud and excited to reach your hearts.

Marcia Drut-Davis

 

July 14th, 2015 by Marcia Davis

WE BIRTHED A CHILDFREE GROUP CRUISE!

It’s official. I’m super excited to announce we have a HAPPY2BCHILDFREE group cruise on a luxurious Norwegian Cruise-line. this December 2015.

Picture this: a deliciously fun experience with like-minded people who’ll never ask, “Why don’t you have kids?” Add to this, the authors: Laura Carroll, “The Baby Matrix”, Laura Scott, “Two Is Enough” and me, Marcia Drut-Davis, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman”. We’ll have a few private meetings on board when we’re out at sea.  Panel discussions, airing of my infamous “60 Minutes” experience, viewing of  “The Childfree Project” by Laura Scott and talking with our authors will be inspiring and illuminating. Evenings will be in their awesome theater, voted the best of cruising, or dancing, or gambling or enjoying new friendships. The other times, in port, we’ll have a private land excursion company assuring us a childfree group! (No cattle call from the liner with kids!)

Info can be had by emailing me at: nokidcruise@gmail.com.  I’ll send you a lot to read from that gmail address. You’ll have questions.  If I can’t answer them, our travel agency K&E will be a great help with Margie, who is a cruise “maven”.  There are additional taxes and fees but very small. Land excursions are extra. NCL will offer a FREE drink package,  FREE specialty dining every night, 75.00 land excursion credit per port or FREE wifi packages. (You just read that right.) (wink)

Additionally, single people may be able to get a studio inside cabin just for yourself with no added costs as most other cruise-lines charge! They’ll be the first to go.

So……..come with us. Don’t wait too long as cabins are going fast. I’ll send you a link to tour the ship, virtually. Let’s make memories to last a lifetime. Having fought cancer and won, I’ve learned the importance of being with like-minded friends and relishing the joy of fun experiences. I have hugs waiting!

Love you all,

Jim and Marcia

SEE YOU ON BOARD!

 

Marcia Drut-Davis

January 30th, 2015 by Marcia Davis

I’m “Birthing” a CHILDFREE GROUP CRUISE!

You just read that right. All through last year, fighting cancer, I kept thinking when I won the battle of this awful disease, I wanted to meet the many childfree-by-choice people who have shown their love, support and gratitude. This is the opportunity I dreamed about. I’m working with a wonderful travel agency , K&E International, who got us a deal you can’t refuse!

The cruise leaves December 6-13, out of Miami, Florida to The Caribbean. It stops for a full day in a privately owned NCL island, the Cayman Islands, Jamaica and Cozumel.

Imagine being with like minded people who’ll never ask you, “How many kids to you have?” Or when you answer, will never say, “Why? or, “How selfish!”

The speaker we’re having on board is stellar in the land of the childfree: LAURA SCOTT, the author of, “Two Is Enough” will be with us!

What fun we’ll have not to mention the cruise line itself! It’s the luxurious NCL GETAWAY. It’s only one year old! You won’t believe it’s beauty and what it offers on board. The on-land excursions are guaranteed to be childfree as we have our own land agency for that! All stops on the itinerary offer a full day of fun unlike many cruise ships who only dock for a few hours!

If you’re interested …HURRY! Email me at:nokidcruise@gmail.com. Say you heard about this from my blog! I’ll attach all the exciting info.  We only have a certain amount of of saved cabins at the price offered. We have more inquiries than cabins! All the cabins around me and Jim are already booked. ( Steve Harvey hawked this ship on a recent TV show with on-board videos!)

Much love to all. Hope to see you on-board and helping to make a memory we’ll long remember.

Marcia Drut-Davis

 

November 17th, 2014 by Marcia Davis

George Carlin Rants Re: “Children”

http://www.georgecarlinrip.com/2014/01/your-children-are-overrated.html?m=1

October 27th, 2014 by Marcia Davis

Interview With A Childfree Man

MEET CHILDFREE – BY – CHOICE VICTOR!

Interviewed by Marcia Drut-Davis

Author, “Confessions of a Childfree Woman”

From time to time, I’ll be happy to interview people from our childfree facebook and blog family.

The interview is about one man and does not reflect all childfree men or my own beliefs.

And, we who know about being condemned for our personal choices and or lifestyle, know it’s important for Victor to feel free to express himself.

Here’s our first:

Meet Victor “Greywolf”. He’s outspoken, brutally honest and offers insightful reactions to being childfree-by-choice. Fasten your seatbelts!

Marcia: You’re a single CF man. When did you know you never wanted to be a father?

Victor:

It was something ALWAYS there. However it started to be prevalent in 2010 when I was about 36. I was finishing a recording certificate at a local community college. I realized my art was stagnant.

Financially I wasn’t really getting anywhere. I knew having kids would financially burden me, not to mention the fact that I’ve never really gotten along with kids. Kids just turned me off.

I hated witnessing temper tantrums. I detested teen vandals running around. (I’ve had too many bad experiences with kids vandalizings!)

Also with shows such as: Surviving Evil, Obsession Dark Desire and Who The Bleep Did I Marry, I felt disgusted with the whole notion of it. It was something I just couldn’t stand to have in my life.

I know a lot of people say, “Kids are a great thing”. For me, it’s more of a hassle and not worth the trouble.

Marcia: How old are you now?

Victor:

I’m 40.

Marcia: Is it easy or difficult to find a life partner or is that not one of your goals?

Victor:

I would say or categorize it as kind of a mixture of the two. I mean, I’ve met SOME women who were willing to be my partner, but later found it was either a joke, or they were saying what they thought I wanted to hear.

I’m also told I’m vocally shocking and abrasive in other things. Go figure. But I won’t give up.

There must be a woman who likes the honesty and finds it a relief that I won’t refrain from sharing raw feelings, right?

Marcia:

I enjoy seeing you reply on many posts from this childfree site. I admit, sometimes your use of language is shocking.

And that’s you. What do you enjoy about this CF site? Do you think we need support for the childfree? Why?

Victor:

Well, it’s nice to see people not giving a damn about those little burdens. I enjoy seeing posts about fast food places with commercials women claim are ‘too sexual’ and ‘thinking of the children’.

For me, it’s a great source of comedic material, since I feel the mothers shouting the loudest aren’t getting any, due to their lousy performances in bed or too much time with their kids. (LOL)

It’s also nice to see people talking about something OTHER than kids. We need all the support we can get. Why? Why not? Kids aren’t the future, kids are the reason we need birth control.

Maybe if we stop reproducing enough, then we can rebuild the earth and improve everything. Instead of depending on kids, we should stop trying to wait for them, and improve things ourselves right now.

Marcia:

Many times, you seem angry. Can you share why or is it too personal?

Victor:

I feel I shouldn’t be stigmatized to share my anger, especially with all the problems out there, and things that are happening as a result of out of control reproducing.

If only we could make people who are promoting breeding shut their traps about reproducing such as: politicians, religious leaders, traditionalists.

Most of those “heart warming” stories about children are often based on fantasia, not reality, especially since a lot of people do believe that sitcoms show the ideal life.

As quoted from the movie,  “The Cable Guy” “reality isn’t, “Father Knows Best” anymore.” I don’t believe it ever was.

And the beat goes on in “Married with Children”, “Parenthood” and “Malcolm In The Middle”.  (Don’t watch them. Just know of them.)

Although they deal with a lot of real life situations it’s always with the children being worth it in the end.

Marcia:

What qualities are you looking for in a life-partner other than being childfree-by- choice?

Victor:

I would like a woman who isn’t jealous or possessive. Someone who is like a combination of Jenna Jameson, or Marilyn Chambers, along with someone who I can relate to, who is also into the same things I enjoy.

I want a woman who has her own money and is her own person. She should have her own interests too so we can enjoy alone time. It’s hard to find those women, since most women are conventional.

That’s why it’s so hard to find a life partner! I would also like a woman who lets a man be, and does her thing. She has to be open about herself, not mysterious.

Also, she has to be someone who isn’t afraid to let me be who I am, and not be angry if I like certain things she doesn’t. I guess if she was a bit of an exhibitionist, that wouldn’t hurt either, or into the swinger’s lifestyle.

(I found out the hard way, monogamous relationships at times lead to jealousy.) I know! I know! It’s almost impossible to find a woman with these attributes.

My ideal woman will be an inspiration to me, not a reason to run away from her. She doesn’t have to be in playboy, or penthouse, or hustler, but would do it in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose.

I don’t want a bully either who will get mad over every little thing, but someone who won’t be afraid of life. It wouldn’t hurt if she was older, or had menopause.

I’m also an atheist. Religious women wouldn’t do well with me or me with them. Finally, drum roll, she must embrace childfreedom forever.

Marcia:

Can you tell us a bit about what you’re doing now?

Victor:

I’m a general artist who’s a filmmaker. You can look up the Nevada Film Festival 2009-2011. Check out: Las Vegas, 2012 gold and silver Ace Awards, and the RXSm cyber jurors.

I’m a comic book artist. I have my own anti-hero series. I’m writing and drawing a female character in a spin off of my anti hero series.

I’m also a former open mike night comic with 2 (count them 2) albums on CD baby, and a martial artist.

I just completed a straight to video “talking head” (film festival term, where a person is performing a monologue throughout or partially through the movie).

I’m working on my next issue of my comic book. I also narrated an unpublished children’s book, and was a producer and extra for a while.

Currently, I’m working on trying to make another type of film, as well as a third spoken CD. I write and draw cards for a non-profit place.

I just got a guitar and am learning to play. I may make a music CD. I’m planning to learn some more martial arts soon. Soon, I hope to do a day in the life of Victor movie!

Marcia:

Do you have a best friend? Who is she/he?

Victor:

Do I have a best friend?  Just my dogs.

 

I want to thank Victor for this candid, at times raw, bold and honest sharing of his childfree life. He’s given permission to include his address if anyone wants to contact him:

P.O. Box 2172, Palatine, IL 60078-2172.

I look forward to learning more about others in our facebook.com/childfreereflections community. If you’re interested in sharing, let me know!