Childfree Reflections

With Marcia Drut-Davis

Archive for the ‘Childfree Blog Posts’ Category

November 17th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

First Webinar

Dear Childfree Family:

Tomorrow, Sunday, the 17th of November at 8:00PM, EST in the USA, we’ll  attempt our first webinar.

You’ll be invited if you already downloaded the free resource guide and left us your email, or, you can get to my  facebook site. facebook.com/ChildfreeReflections

A link to the webinar will be sent. All you do is click on it! (Some may have to download their google hangout software. It’s safe and easy.)

We may have some first time “errors” but we’re in this together.

The topic will be “Thanksgiving in America”. ….Is it something you look forward to or dread because of all the pronatalistic pressures.

Canada already had their holiday and many will share their heartfelt experiences.

Can’t wait to be connected with you with this first webinar.

Cyber-space hugs.

Marcia

 

August 23rd, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Jewish Guilt For Not Procreating

Last October, on the night of my actual  70th birthday, my sister and I flew to Prague.  We stayed in Prague for two days before boarding a river boat cruise down the Danube.  One highlight was our trip to Terezine, a concentration camp where  beautiful Jewish souls were killed during the Holocaust. It was a difficult four hours on a special tour lead by a survivor of that camp. From time to time, her eyes would fill up even though she lead this tour many times.

I have seen many photos and read books where the horrors were brutally detailed. However, walking through that camp, being in actual places where barbaric things happened,  I couldn’t help but have a stab of guilt.

Whispering in my ear was the voice of my beloved grandfather, Harry. “Mashinka” he said. “When you grow up, never forget what happened to four of my five sisters. (One of my aunts escaped by coming to America with her brother.) Never forget what happened to six million Jews and other innocent men, women and children. Have children to replenish their lost lives.

His words haunted me after I decided not to have children and remain childfree-by-choice. I would push the guilt out of my mind knowing I couldn’t agree to a lifestyle my heart wasn’t committed to. Children, in my opinion, need parents totally ready, willing and able to accept the responsibilities. I didn’t want them.

Recently, I met our local Rabbi from this area. We participated in a  weekly discussion group  amongst Muslims, Christians, Jews,  non-believers and their leaders. The goal was to learn and grow in  understanding of each religion. Differences were accepted, not condemned.The topic of religious expectations, when it comes to procreation, came up. When I mentioned I chose never to have or raise children and, from time to time felt guilty because of the expectation I should have children, the Rabbi spoke.

He said, in his opinion, what we do, here and now to other humans is more important. He mentioned how passionate I was as a teacher. He acknowledged how I touched the future through what I taught and how I lovingly treated those hundreds of children.

I felt a sigh of relief. Although intellectually I already knew that, hearing a clergy-person confirming that was a gift to my life.

What about you? Are you living with any guilt stemming from religious upbringing? Do you still hear people admonishing you for not following the religious expectations to “Go forth and multiply?”

I would love to hear from you.

 

 

August 20th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

CALL TO ACTION AGAINST PRONATALISM

I received an announcement for an upcoming chapter meeting from a wonderful women’s business support group called, ” Women’s Prosperity Network”. I’ve been thinking of joining because I’ve learned that writing a book is the same as having a small business if you want it to reach more people.

I was taken aback when the guest speaker for the next Palm City/Stuart group, chose the topic, “GOING FROM MOMMY TO MOGUL”. OK. It’s the name of her book. I have no objections to that. However, nowhere in the ad for her appearance does it suggest that anyone can learn from her book. When I wrote to the chapter president, who I know to be an incredible, inspiring woman, that night, I received an email from that guest speaker. She was defensive and angry and thought I was writing against her book or the title. OF COURSE NOT! She has the right to have her own niche in writing as I do in writing about the childfree-by-choice.

She’s speaking to a group of women. Period! Women. Is everyone in this support group a mother? Can it be that some are infertile? Or how about the one out of five woman choosing to remain childfree -by- choice?

It’s a dangerous and potentially harmful conclusion to think this topic wouldn’t  be offensive to the women I just mentioned. For those sitting on the fence, it encourages the thought that of course, “success” comes with that revered title of , “Mommy”.

If we want pronatalism to stop, we must take the time to educate and express our feelings. They are real. They are important and, in my opinion, must be heard.

Women’s Prosperity Network is now global. I urge you to share your heartfelt feelings.wpnglobal.com. If we sit back, nothing will change. Right?

 

July 30th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Childfree Blog Posts: Eating Out in Peace

Living childfree by choice is a lifestlye. Do you wish there were more childfree restaurants? This childfree post indicates that childfree restaurants are doing well.

Do you have any childfree restaurants in your area.  Do you frequent them?

Let us know in a comment below.

July 26th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

14 Ways to Celebrate to International Childfree Day When You’re Living Childfree by Choice

Feeling  excited about August 1st being,”International Childfree Day”?  Have you thought of ways  you’d  like to to celebrate?   Maybe you have no clue what to do?

Whatever you plan for this day, remember  this is a day to celebrate your decision to live childfree by choice. You may want to share this with others or just enjoy the moment alone.  May I be the first one to say congratulations.  You made the choice that was right for you. Sometimes, in this pronatalistic society that takes a lot of strength. Sometimes, it’s as easy as can be.

Soon, I will post the two people  named International Childfree Man and Woman of the Year. But that doesn’t mean your own worth and value isn’t as important. It’s you who can show family and friends that you’re living a life of quality, joy and importance. Some of you volunteer to help others. Some are in careers where you touch the lives of people. Indeed some do so much for children as  doctors, educators, or therapists!

So, even if you didn’t win that title this year you have my respect for staying true to yourself.  I hope you continue to make a difference in your community and show the world that the childfree live very fulfilling lives.  Who knows who you might inspire?

Now, before we get into the all the different ways to celebrate you may want to join forces with childfree men and women  who want to get International Childfree Day the attention it rightfully deserves. Let’s be honest; most people will never have heard of this special day. It’s up to us to get the notice we so deserve.

We can go to The View’s Twitter and ask the ladies to talk about International Childfree Day. Tell them you watch the show and would like to have this day recognized.  After all, it is as important as any Mothers or Fathers Day. Right?  Who do you know that can help us? If there’s nobody, do it yourself. You’re important!

While you think about finding support for International Childfree Day here are some ways you can kick off your celebration:

 

  • Send thank you cards to the people in your life who have supported your choice to be childfree.

  • Send out notes to your childfree friends and family letting them know you’re happy for them.

  • Write a letter to someone who hasn’t been supportive of your choice and let them know your life is great and that you forgive them.

  • Have a festive dinner at your home with your loved ones.

  • Spend the day at the beach with your friends.

  • Join other childfree men and women for a Childfree Google Hangout with me.

  • Go out for a nice breakfast.

  • Write a poem about being childfree.

  • Send your childfree partner/spouse/friend flowers.

  • Plant your favorite tree to commemorate your decision to live childfree by choice.

  • Read books about being childfree.

  • Have a big party that lasts all night.

  • Give yourself the gift of relaxation.

  • Write a letter to yourself about what you want to accomplish in the next 5 years and put in an envelope with the date that you can open it.

 

Whatever you decide to do on International Childfree is up to you.  Make sure you do something that you love and spend a little time with the people who are most important to you.  That is one of the best formulas for a terrific celebration.

 

How will you be celebrating International Childfree Day?  Let us know in a comment below.

 

P.S. You can read the first 2 chapters of my childfree memoir for free.

July 22nd, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Apparently Jillian Michaels Thinks Living Childfree by Choice is for Immature Babies

Have you read this blog post about what Jillian Michaels said about living childfree by choice.  If we judge ourselves by what she said we *must* have a lot of growing up to do.  Read this blog post to find out more.

 

What did you think of the blog post?  Do people tell you that you’re selfish and immature because your childfree?  Do you know parents who were self and immature before they had kids and became model citizens after their first kid?

 

Let us know in a comment below.

 

 

July 18th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Childfree Blog Post: What To Do When You’re Mistaken for a Mom on Mother’s Day

In this heartfelt and very personal childfree blog post one childfree woman shares what it’s like to be mistaken for a Mom on Mother’s Day. It’s an interesting post and it shows you how 3 words can bring up years of emotion for some us.

Here is the link to this post.

What are your feeling on this post?  Have you had a similar experience?  Share your thoughts on being childfree in a comment below.

July 9th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

ChildFree Blog Posts:Childfree Regrets

As a childfree person you’re often told that you’ll have regrets about your choice.  This childfree blog post puts an interesting spin on the subject and makes you feel happy to be childfree.

What do you think of this blog post?  What do you say to people who say you’ll regret your choice in the future?

 

July 1st, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Announcing International Childfree Day: Call for Nominations for Childfree Woman & Man of the Year!

You know I have been dropping hints about something very special for the childfree.  It’s time to share the secret.  You have the opportunity to nominate someone for International Childfree Woman and Man of the Year.  Isn’t this exiting?

On August 1, 1973, the non-profit organization, National Organization for Non-Parents (NON), celebrated Non-Parents Day by awarding a Female and Male National Non-Parent of the Year. Later known as the National Alliance for Optional Parenthood (NAOP), it existed from 1972-1982 with a mission to “educate the public on non-parenthood as a valid lifestyle option.”

40 years later, childfree writers and bloggers Laura Carroll, Patricia and Eric Pedraza-Nafziger, Amy and Lance Blackstone and I think it’s high time to resurrect this “Day,” now calling it International Childfree Day!

Today we’d like to announce August 1st as International Childfree Day, and begin the call for nominations for the 2013 Childfree Woman and Man of the Year!

Here are the details:

Rules for Nominees:

1. They are decidedly childfree – they have no children by choice.

2. They are childfree people nominators know or are acquainted with personally or professionally.

3.  Self-nominations are also accepted.

How to Nominate:

Step 1

In less than 500 words, please answer these questions about your nominee:

1. What about your nominee as a person makes him/her a candidate for Childfree Woman/Man of the Year?

2. What about your nominee’s life makes him/her a candidate for Childfree Woman/ Man of the Year? For example, what accomplishments, contributions to others or the world are exemplary to award him/her Childfree Woman/Man of the Year?

3. How would you say your nominee has contributed to the acceptance of the childfree choice in society today?

Step 2

Email your answers, along with your nominee’s email address to confessionsofachildfreewoman@gmail.com.

 

Winner Selection:

Deadline for nomination submissions is July 15th.

The panel that will collect nominations and select the winners includes:

Laura Carroll-She is the author of The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World and the internationally acclaimed Families of Two: Interviews with Happily Married Couples Without Children by Choice.  An expert on the childfree choice, for over the last decade she has tracked and researched the childfree choice, has run the top blog, La Vie Childfree, and has been featured on major media, including The Early Show, Good Morning America, national radio, international print and digital media.  Find Laura at: http://lauracarroll.com.

Marcia Drut-Davis: She is a retired ESL teacher and childfreedom pioneer. In 1973, she worked with Ellen Peck, founder of the National Organization for Non-Parents (NON), on the first Non-Parents Convention, and was President of the Long Island Chapter of NON for three years. In 1974, her interview on 60 Minutes about her childfree choice resulted in job loss, picketing and even death threats. At age 70, she authored her memoir, Confessions of a Childless Woman: A Life Spent Swimming Against the Mainstream. She remains a fierce opponent of pronatalism and supporter of those choosing childfreedom. Find Marcia at http://www.childfreereflections.com.

Laura Scott is the author of Two is Enough.  Her amusing and introspective narrative of the “Childless by Choice Project” tackles this question and more, revealing the process, the assumptions, the rationales, and the lifestyles of couples who have come to the conclusion that forever, or for now, “matching pairs beat a full house.”

Patricia Pedraza-Nafziger is an IT Professional in a fortune 50 aerospace company, an author, columnist, and childfree advocate for individuals who have made the choice not to procreate. She is the lead author of Being Fruitful Without Multiplying: Stories and Essays From around the World, and the Married No Kids Contributing Editor for BellaOnline – The Voice of Women.

Eric Nafziger works in Real Estate, Property Management, and Marketing, is an avid golfer, dog lover, and childfree guy. Eric collaborates ideas with Patricia on childfree articles for the Married No Kids site.

Married 27 years, with no kids, Eric and Patricia understand what it is like first hand to live a childfree lifestyle.

Amy Blackstone: She is a sociologist whose areas of expertise include childfree families, research methods, and workplace experiences. Amy is Associate Professor and Chair of Sociology at the University of Maine. Amy has presented and published her work in a variety of venues, both popular and academic.

Lance Blackstone : His day job involves software consulting and wishing he didn’t have a day job. Lance is a tropical fish and scuba enthusiast and he blogs and guest blogs on being childfree from a guy’s perspective.
Amy and Lance have been married for over 18 years and are happily childfree. Together, they run the childfree blog we’re {not} having a baby.

June 27th, 2013 by Marcia Davis

Childfree Blog Posts: Joys of Aunthood (Continued)

I just read a childfree blog post about the happiness of being an Aunt.  Joys of Aunthood (Continued) is a very interesting and heartfelt post. What are your thoughts on it? Do you have a similar relationship with your nieces and nephews? Does being an Aunt or Uncle suit you or is there another myth of this title giving you lasting happiness and contentment?  Let’s face it, not all connections to any family member are ever guaranteed.